Positive Birth Stories
Women can overcome the fear surrounding labor and birth by hearing or reading Positive Birth Stories. I have asked a number of my Bradley Method® and Prenatal Yoga students to write their experiences down to share with other couples. Most of these stories on my blog http://prenatalyoga.wordpress.com are stories of natural birth. A couple of them are not, but these mothers were able to turn their baby's birth into an empowering experience and bring their babies into the world in the best, safest, and gentlest way possible.
"Women need to hear positive birth stories. Sadly, women who have positive, transformative, challenging but amazing births usually don't tell their stories. They may think it's not normal, or may not want to make other women feel inferior. Women need to share their birth stories, both positive and difficult, and when they're difficult, we should examine why and what could have changed. These stories have the power to transform how society looks at birth, to dispel the myths and relieve the fear." Debra Pascali-Bonaro
I Have Never Been Afraid of Birth
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See, I’m a person who needs to have control. Both my daughter, Hannah and my son, Kaleb were planned down to the day and it only took one try for us to conceive. I knew what worked best in my schedule and with my plans but now God had totally messed with everything. After several months, I was finally able to accept the new responsibility that God has placed in my life.
I also struggled with the aspect of being pregnant again so soon. After four months, I finally felt like I was getting back to normal. I was back to my original weight. I was getting back into my yoga practice. I was looking forward to a little more freedom and a little more sleep. I was also not mentally prepared to be pregnant again or to give birth again—it was still all too fresh in my mind from my son. Not that my experience with my son was bad but I just wanted to be “normal” for a little bit.
We did not tell our families for quite awhile because we were adjusting to the idea of a third child so soon ourselves. Our son would be only 14 months old when this baby would arrive. We finally told our family through a picture. Hannah drew a picture of our family and then she drew an extra person. I labeled them all and then put ??? next to the 5th person. Our family was totally shocked. Shock #2. When we started telling people they were shocked as well. Shock #3. I had several people say, “Aren’t you still breastfeeding?” And I would answer, “Yes, but you can still get pregnant.” I was amazed at how many people still think you can’t get pregnant if you are nursing. I nursed my daughter until she was about 14 months old. However, with my son I barely made it to 6 months. Nursing and being pregnant was draining my entire body, I physically could no longer do it. Another thing out of my control—not my plan.
My first 2 labors were really fast. One was 6 hours (Hannah’s birth story) and the second was 5 hours (Kaleb’s birth story). I had both of these births at Morning Star Birth Center in Menomonie, WI. I loved the care there, I loved my birth experiences; however, I really wanted to try a homebirth this time. Unfortunately, I lived outside Morning Star’s radius for homebirths. So that led me to search for a new midwife that would do a homebirth. This is when I came across Women Care from Winona, MN. Mike and I met with LeAnn and Brenda and decided this would be a perfect fit.
My entire pregnancy was very similar to my other ones. I didn’t experience any morning sickness, I was gaining the same amount of weight, and I didn’t have weird cravings. At my first prenatal, we noticed I was a little bit bigger than my projected number of weeks pregnant. However, I had only cycled twice prior to conceiving so we weren’t sure if I was on a 28, 29, 30, 31,or 32 day cycle. Therefore, my due date was always a little questionable. We finally settled on February 18th, 2011. LeAnn did discuss having an ultrasound done so we could more accurately nail down my due date. However, we have never had an ultrasound done with our children and didn’t feel the need to really nail down the due date. We felt that the baby would come when it would come. And, we felt that no matter what abnormality an ultrasound showed us that we would still love and care for this child the same way, so why get one done. Now this is an area of control I don’t struggle with. I didn’t need to know that everything was 100% ok and I didn’t need to know what the sex of the baby was either.
About week 36, I mentioned that I felt a lot bigger. My maternity clothes were no longer fitting so I was wearing Mike’s shirts. My fundal height was only 1 to 2 cm different than with my other kids. However, my circumference was a lot different. At 37 weeks, I measured my waist at 42 inches. I was 39 inches with my other two kids the day I went into labor (and with both of them I went 2 days overdue). Everyone just kept telling me that a person is bigger with their third pregnancy.
On the mornings of February 1st and 2nd, I started to have some irregular contractions. I only had sporadic contractions for a couple of hours in the morning on these days and then they would go away after lunch. I thought I was experiencing early labor, which I never experienced with my 1st two pregnancies. My girlfriend, Stephanie had experienced early labor for weeks with her third child. I emailed her and told her what I was experiencing. She said she would start praying for me now because early labor was very frustrating and exhausting for her.
On the morning of February 3rd, I had to teach a Fit City class (an exercise class for people 55 an older), I just prayed that I didn’t have contractions like the previous mornings. And interestingly enough, I did not. That evening, I had just gotten home from running some errands in town and was playing games with my daughter and husband when I had a couple of contractions—very similar to the ones I had the previous mornings. This was about 6:15pm. At 6:30pm, we were down stairs watching Wheel of Fortune and the contractions were coming on a regular basis but they weren’t very long. Mike asked if I was ok and I said yes. At 6:55pm, we decided to call LeAnn and let her know that I was having contractions. We decide to start timing the contractions and LeAnn said she would get back to us in a little while. The timing of the contractions was all over the board. Some contractions would only last 30 seconds and then the next would be over a minute and then they would be back down to 30 seconds. They were only a couple of minutes apart though.
Now, I need to set the stage for what is also happening during all of this. Both of our children were up and Kaleb was getting a little testy because he was tired. Our pellet stove had just gone out and Mike needed to clean it before he could start it again. Now this might not seem like a big deal but our bedroom is downstairs and often very cold. The pellet stove is essential to heating up our room and our bedroom is the room I planned to birth in. We also needed to start getting things ready for the homebirth if I really was in labor, which meant changing sheets and getting out our supplies.
At about 7:15pm Kaleb wanted me to cuddle him but I didn’t even want him around me. Mike decided to take him upstairs to bed. Normally he goes to bed at 8pm. Hannah kept asking me if I was ok and we just said “Momma might be having a baby tonight.” A few minutes after this Mike started stripping the bed, and I walked into our bedroom to help. I had few contractions while lying in bed; they seemed to be getting more intense but not necessarily longer than before. At 7:25pm, I told Mike to call LeAnn because she needed to be here. Immediately after this, I was standing up near our bed and had a huge contraction. During this contraction it almost felt like I needed to push (I think I did push a little) and my water broke. I was still wearing all my clothes and was afraid I was going to get the rug under our bed wet so I started to move off the rug. I told Mike I had to go to the bathroom, which is just a couple feet away from our bed. ( I didn’t mention to him that I felt like I had to push—because that just seems a little crazy.) I was just about to go to the restroom when I had another contraction. This time I stood up and said “Mike the baby is coming.” I reached down and felt the head and gently glided the baby out. Mike immediately grabbed a towel and the baby started to cry. He also got some blankets wrapped around me as I sat on the toilet. Because of the coolness of the bathroom he had to get our space heater and he cranked it up. Shock #4—I just delivered my baby all by myself.
Mike immediately got on the phone with LeAnn to find out what we should do. Now, we did have a sheet titled “What if your midwives don’t make it” but do you think either of us thought to look at the sheet—of course not. LeAnn said to keep the baby warm, skin to skin and just wait until someone got there. However, the baby’s umbilical cord was rather short and I couldn’t bring her up to my torso, so just blankets had to do. After a couple of minutes I said Mike, “I wonder what time the baby was born at.” (Thankfully to cell phone logs we were able to go back through the phone calls exchanged and find out the time of the baby’s birth—7:31pm. ) I sat on the toilet for what seemed like forever. Mike called LeAnn again to ask about the placenta. He wanted to know what he was suppose to do if I delivered it. She told him to catch it. During this call, I started to have a contraction and I stood up so Mike could get the placenta. However, when Mike felt it something didn’t seem right. And then came Shock #5—the biggest of them all. Mike was still on the phone (but by this time he had set it on the floor), “It is another baby.” So Mike delivered baby number 2. I sat back down on the toilet holding not one but now two babies who were wrapped in towels. Mike and I were just stunned. We had NO idea we were having twins. As I waited, I just had to call someone because NO one was going to believe this story. I called my mom. I basically said something like this, “Mom, I don’t have a lot of time. I went into labor. Our midwives didn’t make it so I delivered the baby. And then Mike delivered the second baby. We had twins. (She started crying.) I am not joking. I’m totally serious. Please call Mikes’ parents for us. We are all fine, we are just waiting for the midwives. We will call again soon.” Shock #6!!! A couple minutes later Mike started getting some texts from his dad.
Hannah was around during all of this. We can’t remember exactly what she was doing but she was around. We did ask her to get some towels for us, which she did. I also remember that when I was holding them she wanted to touch the babies but was afraid. We just assured her that she could touch them, which she did. At this point, I wasn’t even sure if they were boys or girls but Mike said they were both girls. Thank goodness one of them was a girl because Hannah wanted a sister so bad!
For about 10 minutes I just sat on the toilet with the babies. I couldn’t move anywhere until the placenta was out. This is when someone came into our house. We figured it was LeAnn but the strange thing was–the person was taking their sweet time. Mike finally went upstairs and noticed it was Erica,
the birth assistant. Mike finally said, “She is on the toilet downstairs” as she handed him her coffee. As Erica came into my view she stopped in her tracks. Shock # 7—she had no idea that I had delivered the baby myself and she didn’t know that I had delivered two babies. Our midwife had not been able to tell her prior to her arrival. Erica came into the bathroom and chatted with us awhile and made sure we were all ok, which we were. At about 8pm, I birthed the placenta and Erica caught it in a bowl. That is when we moved to the bed. We made sure that the girls didn’t get mixed up. Next, LeAnn showed up and was able to cut the umbilical cords. Upon cutting them, we discussed how we were going to tell them apart. Marker on the foot was discussed but then Erica mentioned painting one of their toenails, which is what we did. The girl with the painted toe ended up being Elsa Lynn Mroz, born at 7:31pm weighing 5 pounds, 10.5 ounces and was 18 3⁄4 inches long. The girl without the painted toe was….we weren’t sure, we didn’t have a second girl’s name. The only other name I liked was Ellianna, so we decided to go with that. Then they asked how we would spell it, I got a piece of paper and wrote out 4 different spellings and then Mike and I chose one. Next was the middle name, we had nothing. I told Mike it needed to be short and he said Ruth. Perfect, Ruth is my grandmother’s first name. So the girl without her toe painted was Ellianna Ruth born at 7:41pm weighing 5 pounds 13.5 ounces and was 19 inches long.
At one point during the exam of the babies, Hannah came downstairs with a grapefruit and said “I brought a grapefruit for the babies to eat.” It was so cute. She went to bed at about 9:15pm because she was getting a little too crazy and was a bit overtired.
I can’t remember when, but our second midwife showed up sometime. She came all the way from Iowa and was pulled over twice on that way to my house. She got off both times—they actually believed her story.
Ok, what story wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Facebook. At 8:20pm Mike posted the following on Facebook: “Here’s one for ya, Christina and I just delivered twins. All by ourselves in our bathroom downstairs. Two healthy girls, momma is great. She got the first one out and I got the second. UNREAL. What an experience. Thank You God for your help! Contractions at 6, twins at 7:30. More to come when things calm down.” Shock #8—telling other people our crazy story. He told me about the post and then said you will have to read the responses because they are pretty crazy. Some people thought we were joking and some people believed us. (I later learned some people called my parents to see if it was true and my best friend called her husband because she thought we might be joking but the husband totally believed we were telling the truth.)
Around 11pm, I had an herbal bath with both of the girls. My midwifery team commented that there was no clean up—which was very rare. But they did clean my bathroom and put a load of towels in the washer for us. At 11:45pm, our midwifery team all said good night and departed our house. Mike and I were now proud parents of not one but two baby girls.
My friend Megan left me a voicemail that said, “I think Jesus is smiling a little bit.” And she mentioned that it might have been a blessing that I didn’t know I was having twins. She was right on both accounts.
Yes, Jesus was smiling because he really is in control—not me. And yes, had I know I was having twins I probably would have thrown myself a huge pity party.
As I finish this really LONG story you probably have some questions.
How did we not know we were having twins? We never got an ultrasound to start. Second, we never noticed Ellianna. Elsa was the one the midwives always felt and the heartbeat we always heard. She was basically hiding Ellianna. Also, we discovered based on how they were born that both of the babies hands and feet faced my spine. Now it made total sense why I never felt little feet or hands like I did with my first two pregnancies. The only thing that was unusual was my waist circumference. I also had this weird lump right under my ribcage that we could never quite figure out but the midwives thought it was a knee. It was really the back of Ellianna’s head. (Both of my midwives had never misdiagnosed twins before.) I do remember looking at Elsa when she was first born and thinking she was tiny—Mike even said the same thing. No wonder I didn’t feel the “ring of fire”, like I had with my other two births. Also, I remember glancing at my belly once and thinking…boy it is still pretty rounded, I thought it would be more flat and squishy.
Were you scared? Not at all. I have never been afraid of birth. I’ve always known it is something I can do. The only time Mike and I were a little concerned was when Ellianna was first born she didn’t cry right away, but she did after about 30 seconds.
There really is not a way to end a story like this but to say…God is totally in control of my life—I totally got the message God! And, this is one heck of a story!
By Christina Mroz February 2011
Prepare for the Safest, Healthiest Birth for you Baby. Read Ina May's Guide To Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Tags: baby, back pain in labor, Back pain in pregnancy, birth, birth ball, birth center, birth coach, Bradley coach, Bradley Method, breathing, Breathing in labor, childbirth, doula, emergency childbirth, first stage, full term pregnancy, home birth, hospital, hospital birth, Ina May Gaskin, labor, Liza Janda, midwife, natural, natural birth, newborn baby, pain in labor, positive birth stories, relaxation in labor, unmedicated, water birth
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Christina Mroz’s Birth Story
When I announced that I was pregnant for a second time, people kept telling me that each pregnancy and labor is different. But were they right…
As with my first child, I did not experience morning sickness. I did have to eat on a regular basis but otherwise I felt great. I gained the same amount of weight as my first child, too. The only difference I experienced was that I did not have sciatic but this time I had leg cramps. Not sure which one is worse.
As my due date of November 30th drew near, I really thought this pregnancy would be different. For some reason I thought I would deliver early. However, our baby had a different idea. With my 1st child I was 2 days overdue and apparently that would be the same scenario this time around as well. I was getting very antsy for the birth of this baby, walking didn’t educe labor, sexual intercourse didn’t work either (it did for my first pregnancy), so I resorted to taking blue cohosh. I did that for one day and did not notice anything different. That night I went to bed like any other night. On December 2nd at 12:45am (2 days after my due date), I woke up from what I thought was a contraction. After it, I fell back asleep. At 1:00am, I felt another contraction so I got out of bed. At 1:10am I experienced another one. At this point, I decided to wake my husband (Mike) and tell him I thought I was in labor. He joined me on the couch and said, “I think I’m awake for absolutely no reason at all.” Well, the contractions kept happening and were now 6 to 8 minutes apart but were not very long in duration. I decided to call Paula. She felt that the contractions were not very consistent yet and thus didn’t warrant a trip to the birth center but it was up to us. Considering my first labor only lasted 6 hours and we had an hour drive to the birth center we were all a little nervous about waiting around too long. We told Paula that we would start driving to Menomonie and would touch base with her when we got to Durand (a 1/2 way point). We woke up our daughter and got into our new car. (On a side note: one week before my due date a deer hit my car and shattered my driver window. We were planning on selling that car anyways, so my husband went on a mad hunt for a new vehicle right away. The only other vehicle we had was truck and thus would not have enough room to drive all 4 of us back home after the baby’s birth.) If the contractions were not getting closer together, we would continue on to Knapp and stay at our friend’s house. However, on our way to Durand the contractions started coming every 2-3 minutes and were about 50 seconds in length. In Durand, we decided to go straight to the birth center and called Paula. Paula was in the Twin Cities, so Savita would be there when we arrived. On the way there we saw a deer; oddly we saw one on our drive with our first pregnancy too. A couple of blocks from the birth center I felt really nauseated and asked Mike to pull over and open my window. However, the sensation pasted and we continued to the birth center. Mike dropped me off at the birth center side walk and I walked to the door as he parked the car and got our daughter out. Our daughter, Hannah did not fall asleep the entire drive.
I don’t think she was scared, instead I think she was really curious as to what was happening. I had thought I would birth in the purple room because my daughter was born in the blue room. However, when I walked upstairs I discovered my husband had laid our daughter down to sleep in the purple room—so the blue room it was again. Savita checked where I was at which was 7cm. Just like my first pregnancy, I was experiencing back labor however it didn’t seem as bad this time around. During contractions I would lean forward and a midwife would press on my lower back. This helped a lot to relieve the pain from the opening that was occurring. I don’t really remember what Hannah and Mike were doing during all of this. I do know that Mike was seldom in the room as there were already 3 midwives helping me, plus he was busy entertaining Hannah, who decided she did not want to sleep. The option of going into the tub was discussed but I decided against it. I birthed with Hannah in the tub and decided I wanted to do something different this time. As my labor progressed, I threw up (just like my first pregnancy, although this time I managed to make it to the toilet). At one point, I was leaning over the bed and my daughter walked underneath me. The day prior she had sprayed some of my perfume all over her and despite a bath the smell was still on her. When she came near me all I could smell was the perfume. I looked at my husband and said, “Get her away from me.” As soon as I said that, I threw up all over the bed. Mike immediately took her out of the room. Savita checked me again and we discovered I had not progressed very far yet—granted it had probably only been an hour and my cervix was not thinning equally front to back so she advised me to labor on my side in bed. At one point, she asked me how it felt and all I remember saying was, “It sucks.” We discovered while laboring like this that the amniotic sac was preventing the head for dropping down. So the decision was made to break my water. As my water was broke I was surrounded by warm fluid. Having my water broke was all it took for labor to take a quick turn—pushing was coming quickly. I remember kneeling on the bed as the head was crowning. I was encouraged to take bigger inhales (which was hard for some reason). They continued to monitor the baby’s heart rate with each contraction that happened. I wasn’t alarmed but I knew that my breath was very important but I still found it hard to inhale deeply and long. As the head was crowning, I forgot how much that hurt and remembered the phrase “ring of fire.” Yep, that is what it felt like–Simply no other way to describe it. During all of this Mike and Hannah finally appeared in the room. Savita then asked me to flip onto my back, so they all helped me move onto my back and then they pulled my hips closer to the edge of the bed. As I gave 3 pushes, I could see Mike holding Hannah at the foot of the bed. During one of the pushed Savita turned the baby, I couldn’t hide how much that hurt so I screamed. But with that turn the baby successfully came out and was placed on my stomach in blankets—it was now 5:45am. (I later learned she turned the baby so that I would have minimal tearing. So in the end I was thankful for the terrible pain of it.) The baby was a little blue so oxygen was given. I asked what it was and no one knew. Mike said he couldn’t see due to the blankets and the attention the baby was getting by the midwives. Well the baby turned out to be a little boy, Kaleb Michael weighing 7 pounds, 1 ounce and was 20.5 inches long. As they continued to give him oxygen, Mike was able to cut the cord while still holding on to Hannah. Due to the quickness of the pushing phase the placenta was high so I had to wait a while (probably 10 min) for the placenta to move down so I could deliver it—which was out in about 2 pushes.
My daughter’s version of my birth is much shorter than mine. It simply goes, “momma screamed baby popped out.” Well, it wasn’t exactly like that but it was pretty quick, probably only 15 min of pushing and a total of 5 hours in labor.
So was this pregnancy and labor different than my first??? On many accounts no.
Read more Natural Childbirth Stories to prepare for the normal, natural physiological process of birth:
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Childbirth Education in Real Life
The Internet has become a place where we can learn skills and acquire vast amounts of knowledge. I learned how to make homemade Christmas ornaments, my daughter learned how to finger crochet and one of my former high school students learned how to do a back flip all from watching YouTube videos. Many couples these days are even learning about how to give birth from articles on the Internet, instead of attending childbirth classes.
So what is the big deal? If you can learn it all from the comfort of your own home, why not learn about the different stages of labor from online articles, or better yet, why not take an online pregnancy class? Well, speaking as a mom and a childbirth educator, I have some strong feelings on this topic.
First of all, let me tell you what students have said after taking a series of childbirth classes. A mom-to-be said, “This class helped us through so much not only by teaching us what to expect with our pregnancy and labor but by also providing us with resources for after the baby was born! When we were expecting our second baby, we took the class again for the wonderful experience and because we loved the idea of having time each week dedicated to our baby on the way.” And a dad-to-be shared this, “I learned so much! I came into this clueless. Now I can help because of what I learned.”
When my husband and I were pregnant with our first baby, we were fairly uneasy and somewhat frightened by thoughts of labor and delivery. We chose to take natural childbirth classes that were recommended to us by a friend. Boy, are we ever glad we signed up! The childbirth classes were packed with information that was enormously helpful. The class focused on the stages of labor, skills to handle the sensations of labor, and how to avoid interventions and unnecessary pain. Once the 12 weeks were over (yes, our childbirth class was three months long!) we were empowered, confident and ready for the amazing experience of birth. Because of that class, I decided to become a childbirth educator myself.
I have come to love the information I share with couples, but when I look back on our childbirth education days (nearly seven years ago, now), my most treasured aspect of the class was the friendships I formed. Tracy, Tori, Jamie and Nancy became a magic foursome that later included Jenna, our “adopted” friend who didn’t take birthing classes with us, but shared many of the same parenting ideas we did; we were “The Mommas and Babies.” Because of those three months—the special months of preparing to be mothers—a special bond was formed between us. The focus in pregnancy can be so geared to the day/s of birth, that once you have that little baby in your arms, you think “Now what?” That group of women helped me with the “Now what?” questions that came with parenting our little bundle of pink.
Yes, childbirth education is a necessary step in preparing yourself for the birth of your baby, but forming a community with other parents in the same stage of life is important, too. The Mommas and Babies have dispersed due to job changes that resulted in moves, but we still keep in touch and look back on those first years of motherhood together with so much joy and thankfulness. My birthing experience and the first years of my daughter’s life were so much richer because of the dialogue, friendships, information, and person-to-person experiences that came as a result of our childbirth class.
Nancy Halseide is the managing editor for Midwifery Today and mother of two beautiful little pearls. Nancy is also a childbirth educator and co-owner of Eugene Birth Education.
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Birth Story of Violet Josephine Quillin
Monday, August 1 2011. Violet’s due date. 7:00pm – Violet was very active inside the womb this evening. We went to bed thinking nothing of it.
12:00 midnight – Jaime woke up with some abdominal cramping. She was not sure if it was real labor so she went downstairs in the kitchen and waited about an hour to see if a pattern was established. The contractions where 3 minutes apart and about 40 second long.
Tuesday August 2, 2011
1:00am – Jaime phones Andy and asked him to come down stairs. We decide to wait a little while before we call Rosie, our doula.
2:00am – After things continued on like this for another hour, we decide to call Rosie. We told her about what was going on. She suggested that Jaime get in the bath, thinking that it would relax her and make her contractions more regular. We agreed that she could wait to come over to our house but that she should be ready. We called the midwife at UCSD and he said the same thing – get in the bath. We tried having Jaime sit in the tub but the contractions were strong enough now that they needed to be taken bent over so the bath did not work out so well.
3:00am – Rosie our doula arrives and begins coaching Jaime on breathing through contractions. There is now little to no rest between the contractions and Jaime is feeling ready to go. Jaime goes from wanting help to wanting to be left alone. She wants total silence during contractions. Back compression and massage with oil is helpful.
4:00am – Jaime has some bloody show and decides it is time to go. Andy and Rosie get the SUV loaded up. The contractions are now very strong. Jaime gets into the back seat of the truck and leans over the back seat back which is the best way to take the contractions. About ½ way into the 45 minute ride Jaime’s water breaks with a loud splash. After that she quickly goes into transition and feels the urge to push. Rosie coaches her to blow instead of pushing. All her contractions are now accompanied by a yell akin to a warrior going into battle. The yelling seemed to apply counter force to each contraction which enabled Jaime to release pain and take back some control over the process. Jaime remembers telling Rosie she felt like giving up another sign she was in transition.
4:30am – Andy calls the midwife again. We really wanted a female midwife but the one male midwife they had was on .
5:00 am – Jaime tried a variety of pushing positions, but the one that worked best for her was on the bed, on her knees, facing backwards or standing up. The staff tried to encourage her to try the side lying position but she was having nothing of it. She knew what was working and that was all she was interested in doing. After pushing for a while, the flesh stretching pain turned into a burning pain. This made Jaime relived again because she knew that meant the baby was crowning and she was getting closer. Since this was Jaime’s first baby, she had no idea how long she would need to push. So she decided she would push hard, as much as she could. At one point Jaime realized that she couldn’t get up and walk around anymore because the baby had moved down and it felt like her hips were locked forward. So she just kept pushing. The midwife gave her a couple of pointers. He told her to tuck her tailbone under and push towards her butt.
6:54am ‐ After two hours of pushing the midwife told Andy to come around to catch baby. Violet
shot out like a rocket just before Andy could get around. Good thing the midwife was able to catch her! Her first action in the new world was to poo all over the birth space and the midwife. After she was cleaned up she was handed to Daddy for the first cuddle. She was fully awake and alert, looking all over at the bright new world. Andy handed her off to Jaime for a few minutes. Jaime’s mom was called in to
cut the cord. After the cord was cut, Violet was handed back to Andy as Jaime was sewn up, because she had torn in two places. This process seemed to take forever, as we were really hoping that she could breastfeed right away. The midwife showed us the placenta and the bag of waters. We were surprised to see how big they were. Then they put Jaime in a wheel chair and took her up to the recovery room. Once in the room, we breastfeed little Violet and watched her sleep. We couldn’t believe how quiet she
was and how cute she turned out
8:00am ‐ Although Jaime was still in a great deal of pain and totally exhausted we thanked God for our little girl and could easily say it was all worth it.
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Welcome Cora Lou
Tags: baby, beautiful, birth, Bradley birth, Bradley Method, C-section, Cesarean, delivery, doula, family centered, full term pregnancy, hospital, labor, Liza Janda, midwife, positive, positive birth stories, prenant, prenatal yoga, www.yogajanda.com, yoga
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Jasmine’s Birth Story
Day of
The day started out with Sarah getting some much stronger contractions (around 4AM) than she had been getting for the last week or so. She was able to breathe through them though and in the morning when I got up for work she seemed pretty much the same emotionally and physically as the night before. This happened to be my first day of work back in the office after working from home the entire previous week. Off to work I went and the day proceeded on as usual. At about 9:30AM I received an IM from Sarah asking what my work schedule looked like today and tomorrow. I was immediately suspicious of the question and began to get excited! I told her I had 1 appointment today and one appointment tomorrow. She then said, “You may need to cancel your appointment for tomorrow”. Which I then was super excited and responded with, “Really?!” She told me her contractions were now 5 ½ minutes apart and the same intensity as the early morning ones. She also said that she wanted to take a walk and needed a walking buddy, so she drove up to her mother’s house in Vista. (We live in Escondido.) They walked all over a local park but things didn’t advance any further. I was anxiously awaiting an update as I continued working throughout the day. Sarah decided that she wanted to go get a trigger point and reflexology message from a friend of ours. I highly recommend this to anyone as long as they go to someone who knows what they are doing. You’ll see why in a minute.
After a few more IMs throughout the day, it was decided that I would not need to come home early as she had not progressed any further. Sarah finished her “massage”, I say “massage” because it is not a pleasant massage as one typically thinks of. This “massage” is designed to trigger contractions and get things moving down there. Sarah left from her “massage” at about 5:50ish PM. She called me immediately on her way home and said that her contractions had become even more intense but still at about 5 ½ minutes apart. While we were on the phone I hear “oh s*%t, my water just broke”!
Two weeks prior
Braxton Hicks contractions have now turned into steady actual contractions. Doctor’s visits are weekly now and during our regularly scheduled visit we stated to the doctor (Dr. Langley is awesome!) that Sarah had been having actual contractions now but that they were not consistent yet. The doctor checked her cervix and to our surprise Sarah was 2cm dilated and 60% effaced! What joy! Hold up. Don’t get too excited yet.
The next few days roll by and contractions went from 10 minutes apart to 7 minutes apart. Sweet! She is making more progress! Her cervix is checked this week and she is at 3ish cm dilated and still 60% effaced. I just kept telling myself and Sarah “Hold it together and don’t get discouraged”. We are so close! Also, I think we walked about a bazillion miles over the next couple of days, to include lots of stairs!
Over the following weekend we continued with normal plans. We got up on Saturday morning and Sarah ran some errands while I did some long needed house work. On Sunday we went to church as usual and then off to hang out with a friend of ours who just had a baby. I’m telling you, we pulled out all the stops to get things going.
Day of continued…
Recap:
“Oh s*%t, my water just broke”!
Immediately contractions were much more intense. She needed help cleaning up the truck, so I met her in the drive way to help cleanup. I started gathering the last minute things that we needed to throw in the truck and head to the hospital. Sarah said, “Just because my water broke doesn’t mean we need to rush off to the hospital”. Which I knew but was very worried with how intense her contractions were. They were veeeeeery strong at this point and seemed to be probably about 2-3 minutes apart. I wasn’t tracking with my contraction app at this point. I was too busy trying to help Sarah through another contraction. By the time we got in the house she was starting another contraction and said she wanted to get in the shower. (Ladies, I highly recommend a nice hot shower. It was amazing for Sarah.) The water felt great and it helped the pain be more manageable but at this point the contractions have now kicked up another notch. Then I hear, “I really feel like I need to push”. What?! “Don’t push” I kept telling her. To which she would respond with “No push” as this was all she could manage at this point. At this point I have to leave her in the shower and pack up as much of the last minute things needed as much as possible in between contractions. Now they are right on top of each other and I’m not getting a chance to really do anything. So finally I tell her, I’m sorry love, I have to get this stuff out to the truck and then we are going to the hospital. She said OK then I am going to stay in the shower. I quickly pull together the last few things and go flying out to the truck. I run back into the house and Sarah is out of the shower and getting her robe on so that we can get on the road. She is still having contraction after contraction with only about maybe a minute break in between.
On the freeway now from Escondido to Scripps Encinitas, this was the longest car ride in history! We couldn’t get there fast enough! Why are there other cars on the road now?! Argh! So it is now 6:20ish PM and I’m breaking just a couple of laws 
with hazards flashing and me waving people over like a mad man because they won’t move out of the way. I drove fast but safe. By the way, if you ever see anyone with hazard lights flashing and driving fast down the highway, move out of the way! You are supposed to turn on your hazards when you have emergencies and other drivers are supposed to move out of your way, but I digress. So, Sarah is hanging on to the door and the handle trying desperately not to push. She just kept saying “No push” over and over. I kept encouraging her. “You are doing so great baby. I love you. Don’t push.”
We finally get to the hospital and it is now 6:45PM. We get to the counter and I said my wife is in labor, we are already registered in your system and we need to get into a room ASAP. I had called in ahead so I knew they had one for us. ☺ I highly recommend everyone do this as well. We get into the room and the nurse hooks Sarah up to fetal monitor and checks her cervix. At first she said “oh wow, she has no cervix”, but then checked again and said that she was at 9cm and baby is at 0 station. Sarah is now having a serious urge to push and shaking uncontrollably trying not to because the nurses told her she can’t yet until the cervix is all the way gone. The nurse called the doctor to come over because things are obviously about to go down. The whole time this is happening (maybe 10 minutes) they are still trying to get babies heartbeat. They got a week signal and wanted to use the internal monitor instead. To which we both said “no, we want to do this natural”. The nurses response was then “that has nothing to do with natural but OK”. Looking back on it now, she was correct but we knew what we wanted and we just said the wrong thing. Sarah did have to get an IV due to the precipitous labor with electrolyte fluids and an oxygen mask because she kept saying she felt like she was going to pass out (focused on breathing out, no so much the breathing in). The doctor comes in and it’s now 7:15 PM and he starts filling out all the required paper work that you typically do prior to delivery. Little things like consent forms.
The nurse checks Sarah’s cervix again and I hear “oh…. That’s babies head”. “Doctor you need to get over here to catch”. He is getting his scrub top on and Sarah yells “No push”! The doctor asks why “no push”? Sarah said “I’m not allowed to”. Then the doctor said that she was cleared to push and that it was actually “highly recommended at this point”. Sarah gave a couple of grunts with some decent pushes with a good yell and the head came out up to Jasmine’s (our baby) eyes. The nurse quickly grabbed the head to get ready to catch as everyone was caught off guard due to how quickly it all happened. The doctor said, “please don’t scream, we are about to bring your child into the world” (which was meant to be funny and we laugh about it now) and came over and said “when you are ready, go ahead and push again”. Sarah gave one more good push and our babies head was out! The whole time I’m encouraging Sarah and giving her a play by play of what is happening. I told her I could see the head now and that she was almost there. “Keep pushing.” She pushed one more time and our beautiful baby girl was born at 7:42PM on 8/22. If you are doing the math Sarah was only in active labor for 1 hour and 42 minutes. Insanely fast for a first time baby.
Coming in at 9cm was waiting a little too long but we think it worked out in our benefit because Sarah was concentrating so hard on not pushing that she barely even tore when it was finally time to push. All in all it was a truly amazing experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.
Jasmine Marie
7lbs 15oz : 19.5 inches
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Turning around the whole birth experience 180 degrees. Welcome to the world Brooklyn!
My contractions started on Sunday night after a long day with the family @ Sea World. Even though Garrett pushed me around in a wheelchair all day, I was still exhausted when we got home and started having contractions around midnight that were every 5-7 minutes apart. I woke up on Monday morning and the contractions had pretty much died down, maybe one an hour off and on throughout the day. This continued on until Wednesday afternoon when I had my prenatal appt. @ Dr. Cap’s office. He checked me and I was 3 cm dialated and contracting about 4-6 times an hour. We discussed how I could start labor at any time but it may takes days or even weeks. We decided that he would just “stretch” my cervix a little bit and see if it helped moved things along. I was OK with this idea because it had been a long week already and I was VERY ready to get the whole thing going. Dr. Cap assured me that if the baby wasn’t ready to come out, then the “stretching” wouldn’t do anything, but if she was…. then we might have a baby soon 
By 9:00 that night, my contractions were getting stronger and more regular. I was able to download a contraction app. on my sister’s I-phone (highly recommended!!!) and could soon tell that things were progressing along and that I was in the first stages of early labor. I was able to relax through them and began packing my bags and preparing the house for the baby’s arrival. I tried to lay down and sleep from about 11-2 AM and was able to get some rest in between the tightening in my uterus. At around 2 AM I woke Garrett up and told him that I was definetely in labor and that we should probably get out all of our worksheets and handouts from class (which I had organized in a binder and put in the suitcase for the hospital). I was surprised at how well I was able to relax through each contraction and how minimal the pain was compared to what I thought it was gong to be. My doula and i texted back and forth all night and she offered to come over to help me but I was totally fine and told her I would call her when we felt it was time to go to the hospital. Now this is when it got a little tricky….. we kept going back and forth about when we should leave the house!!!
The most helpful thing to us in making our decision was the hand out you gave us early on in the class that described the physical and emotional signs of true labor. Even though my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart, I was still talking, laughing, and was even able to braid my hair! We decided that we could probably hang out at home at least until I couldn’t talk through the contractions so I hopped in the bathtub. I was probably in the tub for about an hour and Garrett was massaging my back when my water broke. Immediately after that, things definitely started to pick up and I could feel myself getting more serious and unable to form complete sentences! the contractions were getting stronger but I was still definitely able to handle them and relax through them by leaning over the counter and kind of squatting my legs (not sure if that’s an official Bradley position but it worked for me!).
We headed for the hospital around 6:00 AM and the car ride was NOT FUN! I ended up sitting backwards on the seat holding onto the headrest with a pillow under my rear end for support. You were right when you said that there is no way to be comfortable in the car! Every bump intensifies labor but my race car driver husband was able to get us there in no time and I made it through. By the time I got to the hospital, my doula was waiting out front for us to help us get our things and get checked into labor & delivery. She took one look at me and knew that we didn’t have much time! I had 4 contractions on the way into the hospital and was cussing like a sailor in the hallways probably scaring all of the other patients. I have to say that the last hour was really the only part the threw me for a loop. The contractions were bearable but everything seemed to get much more intense in that last hour. I got into the delivery room and the nurse hooked me up to a few monitors while I sat on top of the bed on all fours. She checked me and I was already @ 9.5 cm! I have to admit, I still begged the nurse for an epidural My doula reminded me that I was in transition and that it is very common to doubt yourself at this point in the labor. I really didn’t believe her but didn’t get much of a chance to argue because it was time to push! The only problem with pushing was that my doctor wasn’t there yet!
I totally forgot to mention that in all of the time I was at home, I was in constant communication with my doula. I even let her know when we were in the car on our way to the hospital. We were about 10 minutes from the hospital when I realized that we forgot to call Dr. Cap. and let him know that we were on our way! Luckily for us, he lives less than 2 miles from Scripps Encinitas and came in just as I started to push. This was probably the scariest part of the whole labor for me because it was something my body was doing on it’s own that I really seemed to have no control over. The only way I can describe it is that it is the most REAL LIFE feeling in the world! The intensity of the whole thing scared me and each time I had a contraction, I remember thinking how there was no way that I could do this! I guess I kept saying it out loud, because my doula kept reminding me that I was already doing it! My husband was amazing through the whole process and was such a great support. He held my hands, rubbed my back, and just kept telling me that I was doing a wonderful job and that the baby would be here soon. Garrett held my hands while I pushed little Brooklyn out into this world and it was the most amazing feeling in the world to hold my beautiful baby girl!!!!
Thank you Liza for helping me change my whole birth experience 180 degrees!!! I will always be greatful for finding you and for the wonderful information you provided to help us make the right decision for our family
Tags: birth, Bradley Method, contraction, delivery, dilation, doula, Dr. Nick Capetenakis, epidural, labor, natural, positions for, Scripps Encinitas, transition
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Home Birth On the Rise a Dramatic 20%
NEW YORK (AP) — One mother chose home birth because it was cheaper than going to a hospital. Another gave birth at home because she has multiple sclerosis and feared unnecessary medical intervention. And some choose home births after cesarean sections with their first babies.
Whatever their motivation, all are among a striking trend: Home births increased 20 percent from 2004 to 2008, accounting for 28,357 of 4.2 million U.S. births, according to a study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released in May.
White women led the drive, with 1 in 98 having babies at home in 2008, compared to 1 in 357 black women and 1 in 500 Hispanic women.
Sherry Hopkins, a Las Vegas midwife, said the women whose home births she’s attended include a pediatrician, an emergency room doctor and nurses. “We’re definitely seeing well-educated and well-informed people who want to give birth at home,” she said.
Robbie Davis-Floyd, a medical anthropologist at the University of Texas at Austin and researcher on global trends in childbirth, obstetrics and midwifery, said “at first, in the 1970s, it was largely a hippie, countercultural thing to give birth outside of the hospital. Over the years, as the formerly ‘lay’ midwives have become far more sophisticated, so has their clientele.”
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, which certifies OB-GYNs, warns that home births can be unsafe, especially if the mother has high-risk conditions, if a birth attendant is inadequately trained and if there’s no nearby hospital in case of emergency. Some doctors also question whether a “feminist machoism” is at play in wanting to give birth at home.
But home birthers say they want to be free of drugs, fetal monitors, IVs and pressure to hurry their labor at the behest of doctors and hospitals. They prefer to labor in tubs of water or on hands and knees, walk around their living rooms or take comfort in their own beds, surrounded by loved ones as they listen to music or hypnosis recordings with the support of midwives and doulas. Some even go without midwives and rely on husbands or other non-professionals for support.
Julie Jacobs, 38, of Baltimore, who has multiple sclerosis, said she “chose midwives and hypnosis because I wanted to surround myself with people who would support me as a birthing mother, rather than view me as an MS patient who would be a liability in need of interventions at every turn.”
Her first two children were born in a freestanding birth center operated by midwives. After the center closed, her third child was born at home in 2007. “If I had been in a hospital I probably would have had C-sections for all three,” she said. “With the first, I would have been terrified to try a home birth. After the second one I was like, hey, I can’t necessarily walk in a straight line, but I can do this.”
Some home birthers cite concerns over cesarean sections. The U.S. rate of C-sections in hospitals hovers around 32 percent, soaring up to 60 percent in some areas. In some cases, there’s a “too posh to push” mentality of scheduled inductions for convenience sake (Victoria Beckham had three).
Gina Crosley-Corcoran, a Chicago blogger and pre-law student, had a C-section with her first baby and chronicled nightmarish pressure from nurses and doctors to abandon a vaginal birth with her second. She followed up with a third child born at home in April.
“I do think there’s a backlash against what’s happening in hospitals,” she said. “Women are finding that the hospital experience wasn’t a good one.”
In Portland, Ore., acupuncturist Becca Seitz gave birth to both her children at home, the first time in 2007 because she and her husband were without insurance.
“It was never on my radar, until we couldn’t afford otherwise,” she said. “I’m granola, but not that granola. It cost us $3,300, as opposed to over $10,000 in a hospital.”
Her midwife was prepared with the drug Pitocin, oxygen and other medical equipment.
“They were both born over the toilet,” she said. “It was a nice position. It’s a way that we’re used to pushing.”
Dr. Joel Evans, the rare board-certified OB-GYN who supports home birth, said the medical establishment has become “resistant to change, resistant to dialogue, resistant to flexibility.”
“Women are now looking for alternatives where they can be treated as individuals, as opposed to being forced to comply with protocols, which however well meaning, have the impact of both medicalizing childbirth and increasing stress and anxiety around delivery,” said Evans, founder and director of the Center for Women’s Health in Stamford, Conn., and an assistant clinical professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York.
By some accounts, in 1900, 95 percent of U.S. births took place at home. That slipped to half by 1938 and less than 1 percent by 1955.
Today, most midwife-attended births take place in hospitals in the U.S., and many midwives are licensed nurses. But there are also close to 1,700 midwives who practice outside of hospitals, said Davis-Floyd. In 27 states, so-called “lay” midwives who lack nurses’ training but are licensed and certified as professional midwives can attend births legally.
Some women chose home births after learning about it from TV shows or documentaries. The show-all “House of Babies” on Discovery Health Channel from 2005 to 2009 was filmed at a Miami birth center run by a midwife. Actress Ricki Lake screened her movie, “The Business of Being Born,” around the United States in 2007 after giving birth at home to her second child. The film also showed Lake’s filmmaking partner, Abby Epstein, documenting her own frantic taxi ride to a New York hospital after abandoning her home birth because the baby presented feet first, with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.
Michael Robertson, 27, of Poulsbo, Wash., knew nothing about home birth before watching the TLC series.
“I just really had my mind set on a water birth, like on the show,” she said. “It looked so cool, so relaxing.”
She had two babies at home, but opted for a planned hospital delivery for her third child due to complications. She’s glad she had the choice. “If you don’t know your options, you don’t know what’s out there to begin with,” she said. “I don’t think an OB will say to you, ‘Hey, did you know there was this thing called home birth.’”
Most studies of home birth have been criticized as too small to accurately assess safety or distinguish between planned and unplanned deliveries, according to researchers Kenneth C. Johnson and Betty-Anne Daviss.
In 2005, they published a study in the British Medical Journal based on nearly 5,500 home births involving certified professional midwives in the United States and Canada. The study, considered one of the largest for home births, showed 88 percent had positive outcomes, while 12 percent of the women were transferred to hospitals, including 9 percent for preventive reasons and 3 percent for emergencies.
The study showed an infant mortality rate of 2 out of every 1,000 births, about the same as in hospitals at the time, Davis-Floyd said.
“Women who are truly educated in evidence-based maternity care understand the safety and the multiple benefits of home birth,” she said. Leanne Italie can be reached at http://twitter.com/litalie
Tags: Business of Being Born, drug-free, home birth, intervention, LC, medical, midwife, natural, Ricki Lake, risks of medication, safety of homebirth
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Cade’s Birth Story, from Kimberly’s perspective
At 12noon, on Monday Feb 23rd, we (Erin, Cecilia and I) went to Doctor Biter’s office for a check-up. Doctor Biter did an ultrasound and everything looked good. We left the office at 2pm and Erin started having contractions about 7 or 8 minutes apart. We went to Chipotle and ran into Dr. Biter and Lindsey (the acupuncturist) there.
Since we were all in one car, we drove back to Mom and Dad’s house and we laid down for awhile while Erin continued to have contractions. She was joking between them and we took a couple pictures. Cecilia laid in her new crib. Erin waited for Anthony to get off work but then called him to come over because things were getting moving. We went for a walk along the cliffs and saw dolphins and then came back and rested some more. She had a pancake or crepes craving. Soon Mom and Dad got home and everyone watched bad reality TV (the Bachelor) and Dad got some IHOP pancakes. I went to teach a yoga class and came home. At around 10pm, the contractions were consistent but still 7 or 8 minutes apart, so Erin and Anthony went home. I slept with the phone by my bed.
In the morning, we called and Erin was still having consistent contractions 7 or 8 minutes apart. She was eager for me to come over. She had slept some but she had taken a bath and been up with Anthony most of the night. When Cecilia and I got to the house, Erin had the OM Sanctuary CD playing and candles burning; around 9:30- we went for a walk along the golf course. A few folks/neighbors stopped to talk and Erin had contractions during but did not tell them. Erin leaned over on the fence and held her belly with a contraction and Cecilia copied her groaning. We came back to the house and continued to take turns being with her. She labored a lot walking around and then in the rocking chair to rest between contractions. She got in and out of the tub a couple times. The contractions were getting closer together, somewhere between 4 to 5 minutes. I was keeping track, because Anthony was talking with Liza on the phone and letting her know what was happening. At about 4:30 Liza came over and pronounced that things were not that far along, because Erin answered the door smiling. She said we needed to get things moving, so Erin went for another walk with Liza; the contractions seemed to slow down. Liza prescribed nipple stimulation between and during contractions. Erin had some of a protein shake. The contractions would speed up for periods of time but then slow down again. Their duration was usually from 25-45 seconds. Mom also came over and eventually took Cecilia home. Around 7, it was back to me, Erin and Anthony. Erin wanted to go to the hospital, but I was trying to stall for the contractions to get closer together. During these hours, she was getting really tired, but talking to herself and to Cade “good boy”, “I can do this, I can do this”, and a couple “oh Gods”. We had periods where the contractions would be steadily three minutes apart, down to two minutes apart, and when they were at two minutes apart, I called Dr. Biter and he asked if I thought she was ready. Based on the period of time she had been having steady contractions and the two minutes apart, I thought she was.
We arrived at the hospital at about 10:30 or 11. Mom met us there. The nurse checked Erin and she was at 1 or 1 ½ centimeters. We were all surprised. The nurse said that we could labor there for an hour or an hour and a half, see how she progressed and then if it didn’t progress we would have to go home. So we walked the halls. Erin kept saying “I am not going home.” She also said “I don’t like her,” referring to the nurse, which made me and mom almost laugh. She also said, “I hate these f**ing chairs” about the furniture in the room. At 12:30 or 1, the nurse checked her again and she was at 2 cm. so we decided to go home. We went to mom’s because it was closer to the hospital and we had the bathtub. The Dr. prescribed an Ambien so she could sleep some and get some strength back.
When we got to Mom’s house, Cecilia was in bed with Dad. Anthony slept upstairs and Erin went in the downstairs’ bedroom. She fell asleep pretty hard but then would wake up for the contractions a little disoriented and getting hysterical. She was begging for something, saying she could not do it, and asking “what is happening to my body?” “I do not remember getting here.” “I can’t do this.” And I would respond, “you are doing it.” At one point she almost fell down after a contraction and Mom caught her. Then Mom went to sleep and I would get her in bed and cover her during contractions because she was cold, and then she would wake/get up for the contractions and say “what am I going to do?” Soon she answered her own question—“ I am tensing up; I have to breathe, help me breathe.” “Help, me,” help, me.” We had been breathing together and making low OH and OM sounds for a long while. Then she got in the shower and that seemed to break the Ambien spell a bit. She labored more in the bedroom, then Cecilia woke up and Mom came to get me. I slept with Cecilia for about 45 minutes, and then she woke up completely, so at 4:30, it was the three of us again (Erin, Cecilia, and Mom). Erin leaned on us, held our hands, looked in our eyes as she rocked and dilated. She got in the bath and we began the same stalling/negotiating process about when she could go back to the hospital. At about 5 I called Dr. Biter, at this point she was leaking ambiotic fluid and some bloody show. He said to call in another hour. At that point, I was feeling nervous, because Erin had said before she wanted a natural delivery and no epidural unless she had been in labor for 20 hours. It had been much longer at that point. So I felt conflicted. Anthony thought she had suffered long enough; he wanted to relieve her and get her an epidural. Mom said that it was her choice, if she wanted to go to the hospital, we should take her- it was her choice. I did not want to place my own beliefs over hers, but I knew how accomplished and proud she would feel, and how empowering it would be if she could follow her birth plan. I also know that these moments are precisely the ones that exemplify why you choose the people to be present at your birth that you do, because in the middle of the experience, you do not have any perspective. You are relying on the people present and the Doctor’s experience to know what is within the range of normal. Dr. Biter just said on the phone, to try to get to 7:30, after the shift of nurses changed, and he would meet us there. We negotiated, I told her three more contractions here at home, she said. “no, 1” and I said, “no, three.” “Okay.” So at around 7, we got her dressed. I got more snacks and water and clothes together, cell phones, cameras, etc.
We got to the hospital around 7:30- we got a great nurse, Amy. She started setting Erin up for the checks—blood pressure, fetal hear rate, urine sample. Erin told Amy, she wanted some medicine, and Amy responded that she could not see why not. Amy checked Erin’s dilation and said 4 or 5cm. At that point, I was really disheartened, after 6 hours and all that work at home, only two more centimeters? Erin was not though, she was happy that their had been progress. Then Dr. Biter came in and checked and said it was more like 7 or 8, that we were “close.” Erin asked Dr. Biter for an epidural. He asked her to reflect on why she had chosen him, said that there wasn’t much longer. “So I can’t have it? “You can have it, but I want you to think about why you came to me and your original plan.” So Erin went on laboring and several times began to think that she could not take it, screamed to Dr. Biter to get his hands out and stop. At one point, Amy told Erin she was a warrior. Each time, Dr. Biter calmly looked her in the eyes and told her to stick with him, that she was doing great. He told her to “ride the waves”, “see how the contraction is over now”. One time he told her about going to the beach, first you have to go over hot rocks. You don’t want to step on them, but if you don’t get past them, you don’t get to the sand and the ocean. He had Erin push a few times, but said that they were not going to be able to push past this place, so we needed to wait a bit longer to push. This is not what Erin wanted to hear, and she tried to convince him she was ready, but he negotiated for 20 minutes. For this time, we went into the shower with the big ball. Amy told her that she loved the ball. Erin changed positions with the ball, having a towel over it and sitting on it and then leaning against it and resting her head on it on all fours. I kept track and told her we needed to be there for a little while. He said that she could push a little bit but not a lot. I had a feeling that Dr. Biter would be out for a bit longer than 20 minutes, as that seemed to be the name of the game- to stretch things out. We came out of the bathroom, dried her off with big bath sheets that Amy had warmed. She got back on the bed and lay on her side. She asked for Anthony and said that she missed him, could she have a kiss? Anthony said “of course.”
Dr. Biter came in a bit later and it was time to push. He got out the mineral oil and as Erin pushed he directed her where to push as he stretched and massaged her vagina and perineum. He said the baby needed to turn so we needed to labor on alternate sides. She had one foot up on him and one Amy or I would hold. Erin was supposed to pull back on her thighs and pull her chin to her chest while she pushed. After awhile it seemed that she needed to change positions so we adjusted the bed up higher and she had her hands up top and her knees down below (like all fours). All the while Dr. Biter was guiding the locations of her contractions. Mom was also doing the pushing with Erin (holding her breath and pushing). I was alternately crying and stepping away and then coming back in. Erin’s face was turning bluish/purple during the contraction. She was working so hard, spit flew out of her mouth, she looked like she was going to suffocate. After about an hour or so of pushing. Dr. Biter said “reach down”- that’s your baby’s head, and after about ten more minutes, Cade’s head came out and Erin was able to reach down and pull the baby to her chest. Astonished, she immediately stared shouting “I did it,” “I did it”, “I did it naturally,” “he is so beautiful”, “I did it, Dr. Biter”, “I did it.” This was the moment where I really started to cry, the moment that I knew was possible but took so much courage, strength and faith to get to, the moment that I believe every woman deserves a chance at, this rite of passage to motherhood.
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